Sounds that are punching my soul in the face.

I keep an archive of songs that incite significant emotional reactions in me. Songs that I listen to when I’m feeling nostalgic or sad… or uninspired. It’s a list that I truly cherish and hope to some day share with someone I love and trust. I only add songs to this list that are true stand-outs to me; music I know I will cherish for years to come. Music is such a valuable currency to me – something that’s a true gift to give or receive.

I decided to post a few songs that have really measured up in the past few weeks. A few pieces of gold from the safe. Songs that have gotten me through the hard times and have given me inspiration to keep on trucking. I hope someone sees this, and gives them a chance. I’m certainly glad I did.

Royal Teeth – Heartbeats (Knife Cover)

Aqualung – Easier to Lie

NLX – Find Love

Jònsi – Tornado

Foo Fighters – Home

Joss Stone – Then You Can Tell Me Goodbye

Ed Sheeran – The Parting Glass

Summertime… and the living is ratchet.

Pretty much always in my normal living of life, I like to keep several events or happenings in the back of my head than I can look forward to. Having something to look forward to, helps one get through the dull and mundane tasks of daily adult living. Perhaps it’s a sad coping mechanism that is only temporarily disguising the fact that I’m a cynical, sad person who needs mental attention and assistance. Perhaps it’s just a way to survive. And with the awesome events I’ve lined up for this summer, SURVIVE I SHALL.

Here’s what I’ve got to look forward to, for Spring/Summer 2013:

Capital Funk Showcase 2013
We’re at it again. My favorite time of year – nice weather, loud music and an overdose of twerking.

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JAY BRANNAN
The man of my dreams, in concert at the Rock & Roll Hotel on April 29th.
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The Lakehouse
Staring Keanue Reeves and Sandra Bullock – only a bunch of ratchet ass bitches instead.

last year:
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this year:
lakehouse
hot tub

If this house and hot tub are left standing – I will consider my work unfinished.

ROAD TRIP HOME / JULY 4
I go home every year for forth of July festivities with my family. It’s a lovely yet lonesome road trip followed by a weekend of bbqing, swimming, drinking and occasional fist fights with my brothers. Police presence: VERY LIKELY.

road trip
fireworks

Outdoor Movies in DC
If you live in DC and haven’t done this, you’re an asshat. It’s gorgeous in the evenings, and outdoor movies are perfect for a group of friends, a romantic date, or some alone time with you and a bottle of Pinot Noir. Relaxing. Entertaining. Shaming. Perfect.

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SO… it’s looking to be a good summer. If I can somehow manage to get into decent shape, and have sex at least twice – I will consider it to be the most successful summer of my existence. I won’t hold my breath.

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Person of the Week!

I decided to do a weekly entry, highlighting a person who has inspired me in some way. Only the freshest, coolest of people will be featured. I’ll aim to focus on people who are original, funny, positive and have enhanced the life of both myself and the people around me.

P E R S O N   O F   T H E   W E E K :

Mindy Kaling

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If you’re not watching the comedy “The Mindy Project” on FOX, then you suck. If you care at all about breaking stereotypes for women/people of COLOR in comedy then you should feel obligated to tune in. The good news is, it’s actually hilarious.

I first heard about Mindy, was when she was writing for The Office. I never really got into The Office but I was intrigued to know that a sassy indian girl was garnering huge success as writer – super awesome. Then, my friend Ben recommended her book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? I found the book to be hilarious, insightful and also eerily similar to how my own autobiographical piece would read. And now, the Mindy Project. A show where her neurosis and quirkiness will make you fall in love with her, while simultaneously peeing your pants. I’m also a big fan of any girl who owns the SHIT out of her curves and realizes that they are hot pieces of ass. Mindy is witty, sexy and her energy is amazing which is why she is my pick for PERSON OF THE WEEK!

Here’s this…

You’re welcome.

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I am so single.

In light of the Prop 8 and DOMA Supreme Court hearings, I thought it would be fun to post something outrageously gay. So, for this post, I am going to discuss fictional characters from television shows that I would most like to gay marry. This is easier to do than choosing real-life people I know who would  make good husbands. Let’s be honest, if I knew anyone who I thought would make a good hubby – I’d already be sleeping with them. Or they wouldn’t be interested in me at all. Such is life.

These characters aren’t even all gay. Which makes this post even more pathetic. I might go out and buy some cats after I finish.

SO, here they are – ordered by preference.

#5  Glenn Rhee, The Walking Dead
Steven Yeun
Glenn plays an introverted good-guy turned confident bad ass on The Walking Dead. He cares for his girlfriend Maggie with understanding and a fiercely unwavering protection. He’s not afraid to stab bitches right in the face, but he’s also a traditional romantic at heart. He even steals a wedding ring off a zombie lady’s finger to give to Maggie, not only as an illustration of  his dedication – but also as a nod to times when things were normal and romance and chivalry mattered. Bottom line is, I want someone who is traditional and treats me like a princess, but is also bold enough to decapitate anyone who tries to eat my face.

#4 David Sawyer, The New Normal
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David plays one-half of the ultimate power gay couple. He’s the classic “I’m completely and totally straight accept for the fact that I really dig wiener” kind of  guy and I find that to be (shamefully) attractive. He’s a little rough around the edges. The kind of guy who is totally ready to wine and dine you after an evening of football, beer drinking and ball-scratching. But he’s a gentleman. He puts his partner’s needs before his own and always makes sure that he fees like this great big world is lucky to have him. That’s the guy I want to come home to every night.

#3  Scotty Wandell, Brothers and Sisters
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Okay, I know this show has been off the air for a few years, but this character will always be one of my favorites. Scotty Wandell, the eventual husband of main-character Kevin Walker, starts out as an overly-confident and flamboyant borderline twink. But through the seasons he evolves into an incredibly mature, thoughtful and steadfast partner. He and Kevin endure some pretty intense things (both realistic and not) and his actions and decisions are always overcome by his kindness and loving nature.  This character is entirely brought to life by actor Luke MacFarlane, who’s adorable smirks, hopelessly romantic eyes and striking presence make you wish for a boyfriend even half as perfect as he. And by “you”,  I mean me. I wish for that.

#2 Daryl Dixon – The Walking Dead
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This pick, paired with #5, kind of make me think that I’m not going to find a man unless the world is destroyed and overrun with flesh eating zombies. I have a crush on Daryl Dixon for the same reasons every other fan of the show does – genuine goodness masked by mystery, sweat and a strangely sexy lesbian haircut. It’s also attractive that he’s said “fuck you” to his redneck roots and decided to be a better person. I feel like Daryl would be strong, loyal and protective as a boyfriend- but would also totally be into slapping you around in the bedroom. #hugeplus #prisonsex #darylDICKson

#1 Ben Wyatt, Parks and Recreation
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Anyone that knows me, knows that I am essentially the same person as Leslie Knope (Minus the breasts, pant-suits and comedic timing). My idea of a perfect guy is one who supports my every insane notion and decision, but still keeps me grounded. A guy who will make sacrifices for me, without sacrificing himself. A guy who pretends to love a miniature horse as much I do. A guy who punches any jerk who calls me a bitch. A guy who waltzes around the apartment in his “Letters to Cleo” t-shirt, experimenting with different types of low-cal calzones and creating Avatar-adjacent claymation projects. Ben Wyatt is the perfect man. And one day, he will be mine:

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28

Yesterday, I turned 28 years old. 28 years old.

Holy shit.

I didn’t really expect to celebrate, or really even to acknowledge this day. It’s such a struggle for me to accept and embrace the fact that I am this age – and that I’m getting older every day. I hate the idea of being a cynic, but I can’t deny the fact that a cynic is exactly what I am. I dread my birthdays. It’s a day where I reflect, and convince myself that I haven’t accomplished enough. That I’m single and I shouldn’t be. That I’m broke and I shouldn’t be. Who wants to celebrate a day that just throws all that in their face?

But then things happen.

Things like a crazy night out on the town and shots with people you love. Like a formal birthday dinner by candlelight with people who inspire you. Like four friends sitting in a bed, playing games, watching scary movies and throwing back cocktails to the soundtrack of raucous laughter. Or a surprise party, where a massive group of people turn up to make sure that today – you realize how much you’re really loved.

This weekend was overwhelming in the most positive way possible and there is little I can do to thank the people who made it so special for me. Sitting here reflecting on it, I forget about all the missed opportunities and chances not taken in my adulthood… and instead focus on the fact that I’m surrounded by people who make me incredibly proud. People who made sure that I took the time out to celebrate myself – to let go of my cares and be young and alive. I’m so grateful for my friends and my family, for being shining beacons of light in the occasional darkness. I love you all and everything you do to ensure me that I’m living this life exactly the way I should be. Continue reading

This dog who just CAN’T handle LIFE right now because everything is happening so much.

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Photo credit: buzzfeed via Josef Lorentz

I am this dog. 

I’m trying my best to keep my mouth shut and not start huge social media fights within my family, but I cannot emphasize how incredibly difficult it is to be the only liberal in the bunch. I’m berated with anti-Obama, pro-gun, anti-abortion, anti-gay posts and it makes anger course through me like poison. I’ve got this internal battle of trying to decide where my obligations lie as a family member, what the moral implications of choosing to cut people OUT of my life are and whether or not there is a balance that won’t make me want to hurl my computer across the room. My family (sans a few sticks-in-the-mud) has really come around on gay issues via their exposure to it (me) and first-hand experiences since my coming out. Perhaps if I get shot they’ll start to loosen up their uber conservative views on guns. Does anyone have an assault rifle I can borrow? 

Quick clarification/Just for fun: I’m not certain of where I stand on newly proposed anti-gun legislation. More compelling to me is finding solutions that impact/improve criminal behavior on a broader scale. I do, however, think that owning a gun changes a person and what their initial responses to threats are – in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable. 

Big shout out to my awesome staff who made me feel so much better yesterday after I momentarily lost faith in humanity. 

Also, check back later for a post about a birthday card I got in the mail yesterday, that I’m pretty sure was sent to me solely as a passive aggressive insult. From someone I love very much. FML.