Summertime… and the living is ratchet.

Pretty much always in my normal living of life, I like to keep several events or happenings in the back of my head than I can look forward to. Having something to look forward to, helps one get through the dull and mundane tasks of daily adult living. Perhaps it’s a sad coping mechanism that is only temporarily disguising the fact that I’m a cynical, sad person who needs mental attention and assistance. Perhaps it’s just a way to survive. And with the awesome events I’ve lined up for this summer, SURVIVE I SHALL.

Here’s what I’ve got to look forward to, for Spring/Summer 2013:

Capital Funk Showcase 2013
We’re at it again. My favorite time of year – nice weather, loud music and an overdose of twerking.

academy


JAY BRANNAN
The man of my dreams, in concert at the Rock & Roll Hotel on April 29th.
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The Lakehouse
Staring Keanue Reeves and Sandra Bullock – only a bunch of ratchet ass bitches instead.

last year:
lake plank
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this year:
lakehouse
hot tub

If this house and hot tub are left standing – I will consider my work unfinished.

ROAD TRIP HOME / JULY 4
I go home every year for forth of July festivities with my family. It’s a lovely yet lonesome road trip followed by a weekend of bbqing, swimming, drinking and occasional fist fights with my brothers. Police presence: VERY LIKELY.

road trip
fireworks

Outdoor Movies in DC
If you live in DC and haven’t done this, you’re an asshat. It’s gorgeous in the evenings, and outdoor movies are perfect for a group of friends, a romantic date, or some alone time with you and a bottle of Pinot Noir. Relaxing. Entertaining. Shaming. Perfect.

Kittner_110615_0229

SO… it’s looking to be a good summer. If I can somehow manage to get into decent shape, and have sex at least twice – I will consider it to be the most successful summer of my existence. I won’t hold my breath.

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